Diary of a Fat Girl

I haven’t been happy with my body for a long time, especially the number that has steadily been creeping up on the scales, so a couple of weeks ago I decided it was time to do something about it. I have tried a couple of fad diets in the past and never really got anywhere with them, I’m not great at counting calories or practically starving myself for 5 days and then eating whatever for 2 days. Now I know what people are going to say, its easy to lose weight, just exercise and put the right foods into your mouth, and yes I agree to a certain extent, however I am one of those people who unless I can be held accountable for my actions then I just pretend it didn’t happen. Sort of like a secret eater in a sense, nobody saw me eat that whole packet of biscuits, a round of toast, 2 chocolate bars and a bag of crisps all in the space of an hour!! It makes me laugh a little though, because I am not stupid, I know that eating all of those things on a regular basis and a lack of fruit, vegetables and proteins etc in your diet is going to make you put weight on and be unhealthy however I still continued to do it, even though I was (and still do) hate my body. 

Of course a bowl of fruit and words of frying go together don’t they?

There is one thing that I know works and that’s because I have done it before when I wanted to slim down for my wedding day and that my friends is Slimming World. So last week I took the plunge and decided to go along to my local group and face the scales and make my pledge to change my lifestyle. I walked away from the group understanding exactly what I needed to do to make myself happy and confident in my own skin again, shopping list in hand I piled the trolley full of fruit, veg, pasta, potatoes etc everything that I needed to keep me on track. I was doing really well and making all the right choices when it came to food, even when my family were eating things that I shouldn’t or that were too high in syn value, I was sat there with a big plate full of salad. My biggest downfall was a christening and the after party was cream tea, which obviously meant plenty of cakes, scones, clotted cream, everything that was so yummy and obviously I had to eat some of, which unfortunately meant me consuming near 60 syns for that one day!! The recommendation is between 5 and 15 so I had seriously gone over but I was determined to pull it back as best I could over the next 2 days. 

I forgot how much I love salad and I really do fill up on it

Along came Wednesday again and I braved the scales to see a 1/2lb loss. I just laughed when I saw it to mask the disappointment that I could feel bubbling inside me. Of course to see a loss is great, but my heart sank as I knew that the christening had possibly sabotaged my first week. As I sat down and started speaking to a couple of friends, I realised that actually to have eaten what I had and to of consumed that many syns I had clearly done so damage limitation and so the disappointment lifted slightly, I felt happier and more determined then ever to kick arse over the coming week. I know what I want to see on those scales next Wednesday and I am going to get it no matter what!! 

I have a slimming world wish for Christmas and nothing is going to stop me achieving it, its not something that I have divulged to anybody as this journey is mine and for me only, the success of it is down to me and what decisions and choices  I make. If anybody else is doing Slimming World it would be great to hear from you and we can maybe swap recipes and tips and help each other through it.